The Days Grow Shorter…And Wider

A glimpse into Trump's make-believe world of "giant water valves" in Northern California… https://t.co/Jb6oKbqChs pic.twitter.com/jyJ1fIVTap

— Governor Gavin Newsom (@CAgovernor) August 26, 2025

You really want to have the conversation about hands? https://t.co/Vjtdjy78J0

— Gavin Newsom (@GavinNewsom) August 26, 2025

As God is my witness, I don’t want to have the first idea what Trump thought he was trying to say. If I did, I’d probably have to kill myself to erase the memory.

Noem: The last 12 to 13 days, they are remembering now what it can feel like to go to a park and play pic.twitter.com/NwFYSG0Y0n

— Acyn (@Acyn) August 26, 2025

Even FoxNews knows better? Yes, in fact, they do.

Turner: Even among those who are supportive of the guard's presence—I have spoken to a lot of folks who say they are not deployed in the right spots. They are going to the monument and places that are perfectly safe

Noem: The city is completely different than it was 13 days ago pic.twitter.com/GFVv3CpJj8

— Acyn (@Acyn) August 26, 2025

So...they moved all the monuments? 🤷🏻‍♂️

Noem: He will continue to do what he needs to do in these cities that are overridden with terrorists… he will do everything he can to fight these liberal socialist, terrible leaders that are in these cities that are harming their individuals. pic.twitter.com/qD01ZI4l9D

— Acyn (@Acyn) August 26, 2025

Yup, “terrorists” is the theme. That’s not playing as well as they want it to.

Trump: People go into war and then they get their asses kicked and they lose their country, Nobody goes into a war thinking they're going to lose. I'm sure Ukraine thought they were going to win. You don’t go into a war that’s 15 times your size pic.twitter.com/3pYTi37GlK

— Acyn (@Acyn) August 26, 2025

"How big is a war? How do you measure its size?” A question that has plagued humanity for millennia.

(I know. You can’t tell him anything. All you can do is shake your head at how stupid he is. You can’t fix stupid.)

Trump on Lisa Cook: She cannot have an infraction—especially that one. She is in charge of mortgages and we need people who are 100% above board and it doesn’t seem like she was pic.twitter.com/0ogkLdcwOw

— Acyn (@Acyn) August 26, 2025

Says the man convicted of civil fraud and felony criminal fraud. We know what he did. She listed two residential properties as “principal residence.” Meaning she intended to live in them. How that is fraud is not clear to anyone. Not that Trump understands what “fraud” means.

Trump: "You have 14 year old kids that are just as tough as a 25 year old, just as dangerous, and they carry the same gun. We have to make a provision where they are treated like older people ... you have 14 year old kids that are evil. They're sick. And they have to be put away" pic.twitter.com/LLLaTVD2mW

— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) August 26, 2025

The Central Park 5 are never far from his thoughts. If you can call those things that cause words to spill out of his mouth, thoughts.

Moore: I know this is breaking news to everybody, but the president is not telling the truth.. I never called him the greatest. And I just find it absolutely comical that that that was his, his the way he remembered that conversation. pic.twitter.com/nI0wukglJV

— Acyn (@Acyn) August 27, 2025

Trump still won’t walk in Baltimore.

Moore: Th problem is we are seeing a lack of seriousness from the president to a very serious situation. And that's why I invited him to come to Baltimore, to come be educated, to come learn so he doesn't have to spout nonsense pic.twitter.com/hffEUgFh1S

— Acyn (@Acyn) August 27, 2025

You certainly can’t tell him the truth.

Watters: DC is so safe, the guard does not have criminals left to chase. They are picking up litter, cleaning up the park so Stephen Miller can take his wife on a romantic stroll under the moonlight pic.twitter.com/yJelVCB4vG

— Acyn (@Acyn) August 27, 2025

Doesn’t this just prove Miller can’t go out in the sun?

Brecheen: You’ve got Sharia Law trying to be established in America today. The President of Türkiye has made statements relative to reestablishing the Ottoman Empire pic.twitter.com/hYU2ONAeLM

— Acyn (@Acyn) August 26, 2025

I told you “terrorism” wasn’t working.

I’m now totally freaked out that the Ottoman Empire is coming back to impose Sharia Law on America. I thought the west defeated them outside the walls of Vienna in 1683, but it appears they are back. https://t.co/pIkTXnYcWD

— Ron Filipkowski (@RonFilipkowski) August 27, 2025

Wily these Mohammedens.

Watters: It’s like trying to sell reverse mortgages to young people or gold or relief factor. Or all the things we sell on Fox. pic.twitter.com/4ey8UOr63w

— Acyn (@Acyn) August 26, 2025

Fuck, I need a palate cleanser. Or maybe brain bleach:

WOW !! PRESIDENT TRUMP SAYS ABOUT ME, GAVIN C. NEWSOM: “HE’S A NICE GUY, LOOKS GOOD.” THANK YOU FOR THE KIND WORDS, LITTLE HANDS. EVERYONE SEEMS TO BE TALKING ABOUT ME (AMERICA’S FAVORITE GOVERNOR!). —GCN pic.twitter.com/s8UdroiPRK

— Governor Newsom Press Office (@GovPressOffice) August 26, 2025

SO. YOU’RE FINALLY RELEASING THE EPSTEIN FILES? https://t.co/o8ZjLv8OYN

— Governor Newsom Press Office (@GovPressOffice) August 26, 2025

NEW CHARACTER ALERT: The Kosplay Kristi universe just expanded!! Kristi the Sailor — sinking America’s respect around the world. pic.twitter.com/wvGKwPT8zg

— Governor Newsom Press Office (@GovPressOffice) August 26, 2025

Facts ⬇️ https://t.co/iBamy0AkWg

— Governor Newsom Press Office (@GovPressOffice) August 26, 2025

https://t.co/KTP8r0chd2 pic.twitter.com/3U4BTipIJa

— Governor Newsom Press Office (@GovPressOffice) August 26, 2025

A MASSIVE WIN PATRIOTS!! ALL BECAUSE OF ME, GAVIN C. NEWSOM!!! CONGRATULATIONS! — GCN https://t.co/ki6YBauO9C pic.twitter.com/Qliy6QjPgT

— Governor Newsom Press Office (@GovPressOffice) August 27, 2025

You can predict the responses from MAGA, and you’re absolutely right.

I feel like this should have at least 3 sirens. pic.twitter.com/6tnz5gnNuA

— Ron Filipkowski (@RonFilipkowski) August 27, 2025

Zero ability to think abstractly (necessary to recognize satire).

I was worried they were starting to get it. It doesn’t appear that will happen anytime soon though. pic.twitter.com/WKeKLIZlRz

— Ron Filipkowski (@RonFilipkowski) August 27, 2025

Can only function concretely. SAD!

I’ve said too much. I’ll show myself out…🚪