Where Do People Get These Ideas?

- "When you're dealing in trade everything is on the table. So NHS or anything else, a lot more than that, but everything will be on the table, absolutely." Shortly after that, the White House walked it back, but Jeremy Corbyn is hoping to ride that pony to victory next week.

— John Roberts (@johnrobertsFox) December 3, 2019

If I got these sentences in an essay, in this order, the essay would fail:

“I think the Democrats should be ashamed of themselves,” he stated. “If you look at impeachment, the word impeachment, here there was nothing wrong, nothing done wrong, it was a perfect conversation with a very nice gentleman, the president of Ukraine. The conversation was perfect.”

Huh?  "The word impeachment"?  What is that phrase even doing there?  Where was he going with that?

“And this is what you’re going to impeach the president of the United States on?” Trump complained. “The Democrats have gone crazy… they have to be careful because when the shoe’s on the other foot and someday hopefully in the very long distant future, you’ll have a Democrat [sic] president, you’ll have a Republican House and they’ll do the same thing because somebody picked an orange out of the refrigerator and you don’t like it.”

Or because he wore a tan suit?  Or because he had consensual sex with an adult, and didn't want to admit it to the world?  Like that?  And how many years did you spend complaining about Obama's birth certificate?

Trump says he wants Pompeo, Mulvaney and Rick Perry to testify, but in the Senate. “I want them to testify but I want them to testify in the senate where they will get a fair trial.”

— Katherine Faulders (@KFaulders) December 3, 2019

Uh...you understand they aren't the persons on trial, right?

"I don't want to comment on that, but the answer is no.”—President Trump, on whether he supports the protesters in Iran.

— Michael C. Bender (@MichaelCBender) December 3, 2019

Res ipsa loquitur.  Or:  "OOPS!"

The United States of America supports the brave people of Iran who are protesting for their FREEDOM. We have under the Trump Administration, and always will!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) December 3, 2019

I just a left the faculty lounge. It was packed with legal scholars, whispering amongst each other about how the Ukraine transcript was “absolutely perfect,” and how Trump is right when he uses the word.

— Scott Shapiro (@scottjshapiro) December 3, 2019

Although this is even better:

“And these legal scholars — big, macho law professors, huge muscles on these guys — they came up to me, tears streaming down their law guy faces, and they said they’d never ever cried before but they were crying now because my call was so absolutely perfect! So. Perfect.” https://t.co/5mKDulWMKW

— Kevin M. Kruse (@KevinMKruse) December 3, 2019