"My death, is it possible?"

My dad is an ICU doctor treating COVID-19 patients. In the past WEEK he has set more “I’ve never seen a heart rate/RBC count/etc. like this” records than in his decades-long career. What this virus does to the body is like “sticking your finger in an electric socket.” Stay home.

— Bess Kalb (@bessbell) May 3, 2020

He had a patient who needed 8 blood transfusions in a morning even though he wasn’t bleeding. The coronavirus was just eating his red blood cells faster than his bone marrow could make them. It’s fucking mystifying and brutal.

— Bess Kalb (@bessbell) May 3, 2020

If you are lucky enough to make it off a ventilator (the equivalent exertion required for that is running a marathon without training), you will likely get put on dialysis and a feeding tube next. It’s a nightmare. It’s hell. It’s what you’re risking on your beach day.

— Bess Kalb (@bessbell) May 3, 2020

The other common way young people are falling off the face of the earth from this are the random strokes it causes. Talking one minute, stroking out the next, and then the nurses have to go through the cell phone to find "Dad" because "Mom" usually insists on coming.

— Bess Kalb (@bessbell) May 3, 2020

They can't, of course. You die alone from COVID. And you will be buried alone. Stay home.

— Bess Kalb (@bessbell) May 3, 2020

Also have an advanced directive because a lot of fiancés and parents are being put in UNCOMFORTABLE situations deciding. Truly, before you head to the crowded beach or nail salon or bowling alley, decide if you're a chest compressions guy or feeding tube vegetable queen.

— Bess Kalb (@bessbell) May 3, 2020

In seminary I read Sherwin Nuland's book How We Die.  It ain't pretty in the best of circumstances, and despite even having family there, you die alone:  no one can go with you, or do it for you (now would be a good time for a revival of "Everyman," too).  But it's the people left behind who suffer because they couldn't attend, say "goodbye," even stand at the grave before it is closed.  Don't discount the importance of these things.  None of us is an individual, separate and apart.  We are all bound up in the lives of each other, and your death is forever; your decision to go to the beach can be made another time.  Just because it's inconvenient doesn't mean it's permanent; only death is permanent.

We really need to learn that lesson all over.  Memento mori.  But we don't.  It might be better if we did.