What I Truly Don't Understand...

Yeah, I feel like famous athletes and movie stars know they can afford $8. It’s possible they just don’t want to pay $8 for the privilege of getting to make free content and drive engagement to a website owned by a billionaire who openly hates them pic.twitter.com/bD7MJGtd3d

— Mike Drucker (@MikeDrucker) April 21, 2023

...is why anyone on Twitter is pissed off about this.

someone get this man a doctor https://t.co/MoI3KmQ4KA

— rat king 🐀 (@MikeIsaac) April 21, 2023

And they are; they really are:

amazing. the elites won't pay for a blue check like every other working stiff. https://t.co/E79t1IY5sf

— Josh Marshall (@joshtpm) April 21, 2023

We truly contain multitudes. It’s amazing how something that seems so evident to me is understood completely differently by others. For instance, how can one not plainly see that the reason someone like me doesn’t pay $8 for Twitter is because I’m not a huge fucking dork? pic.twitter.com/vouzsZpFgT

— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) April 21, 2023

Twitter has created the perfect storm where having a blue tick will be seen as an act of shame. Even those who signed up during the last few months might give them up. They bought them for the appearance of legitimacy, now that’s gone https://t.co/FGqFAS79to

— Phillips P. OBrien (@PhillipsPOBrien) April 21, 2023

My latte this morning was wonderful. https://t.co/f3roroXxP4

— Dionne Warwick (@dionnewarwick) April 21, 2023

Maybe because Musk is so pathetic about it?

Musk may no longer be the worlds richest man but he’s definitely the thirstiest. Good lord https://t.co/MF09pziOhR

— Josh Marshall (@joshtpm) April 21, 2023

My latte this morning was wonderful. https://t.co/f3roroXxP4

— Dionne Warwick (@dionnewarwick) April 21, 2023

And everybody is pissed off:

Musk may no longer be the worlds richest man but he’s definitely the thirstiest. Good lord https://t.co/MF09pziOhR

— Josh Marshall (@joshtpm) April 21, 2023

Well, except public institutions. Which, oddly, seem to have the coolest Twitter feeds:

Who needs a blue check when you have a BLUE WHALE? pic.twitter.com/qODDgkzqVB

— American Museum of Natural History (@AMNH) April 21, 2023

But the odd part is the people SO INSULTED that other people, especially public figures/celebrities, won't pay for a blue check mark. Of course, most of those people are Elonauts who think he can do no wrong, so they seem to ignore he's "paying for it" for some celebrities. Which is also hard to understand. Somebody's gonna have to explain it to me....

Although I do want to ask the Elmonauts:  "How's that relocation to Mars plan looking?"

SpaceX launches giant new rocket on first test flight, but Starship experienced “a rapid unscheduled disassembly before stage separation.”

pic.twitter.com/4Tj77LpJiC

— Scott Gustin (@ScottGustin) April 20, 2023

And that despair is absolutely worse than I thought:

And their replies and suggestions to Musk are Saul Goodman in the desert drinking his own urine level of thirst.

— Schooley (@Rschooley) April 21, 2023

The blue check discourse is off da chain! pic.twitter.com/qs0pAOlhs7

— Schooley (@Rschooley) April 21, 2023

I paid because Saudi Arabia wants it to look like he tried before killing Twitter.

— Schooley (@Rschooley) April 21, 2023

These people have so much of their identity wrapped up in blue checks they need to get off Twitter and seek therapy. I mean, they make this guy seem sensible:

His business ventures have never been solely about business. They may have been innovative or groundbreaking, but they've always been just as much about his singular brilliance.

— The Whiner (@FineWhiner) April 21, 2023

I am comfortable with saying none of them should have anything sharper than a rubber ball.