MORE (XMAS) COWBELL!! 📽️

“Effective immediately, 100 will now be 5,100 and—I’m reading off the official statistics from my people—500 will be 25,500,” said Trump https://t.co/V7wSM7DFXb

— The Onion (@TheOnion) December 3, 2025

Her remarks seemed to be very important to Trump. Really made an impact. https://t.co/ekNuqX7QAK

— Ron Filipkowski (@RonFilipkowski) December 3, 2025

It’s just wild to watch Trump fall asleep constantly in meetings, then he wakes up and calls Joe Biden “sleepy.”

— Ron Filipkowski (@RonFilipkowski) December 3, 2025

📽️

The FBI Director for the United States of America, everyone. This is where we are at. https://t.co/4H4gnFFopg

— Ron Filipkowski (@RonFilipkowski) December 3, 2025

From the head down.

Watching that Cabinet meeting Trump dozed off constantly when other people were talking, but every time his name got mentioned he would wake up. Nothing else they said interested him in the slightest, but every time he heard his name he regained consciousness for a second.

— Ron Filipkowski (@RonFilipkowski) December 3, 2025

None dare say the Emperor was sleeping naked.

Legal question If Trump can't stay awake for his own cabinet meeting, how can we be sure that lethal orders have any validity? Shouldn't we just assume @stephenm is ordering more murders?

— emptywheel (check) (@emptywheel) December 3, 2025

Does he use the autopen in his sleep?

 Ingraham: They are claiming you commandeered the FBI jet for personal joy rides going to a wrestling event for your girlfriend. Is that true?

Patel: All FBI directors are required users of the FBI plane…. I'm entitled to a personal life just like my other agency counterparts… pic.twitter.com/NthgySmLFx

— Acyn (@Acyn) December 3, 2025

He can’t protect the flight logs from FOIA or explain how he gets seen everywhere without using public transport. But the jacket story he can lie about.

Patel: One of my agents handed me a jacket and said hey, boss, you should probably wear this… I said I would be honored to wear that pic.twitter.com/sBimMjNmCT

— Acyn (@Acyn) December 3, 2025

See?

Trump saved Christmas again. pic.twitter.com/8qsDH9xg3l

— Ron Filipkowski (@RonFilipkowski) December 3, 2025

Trump was too sleepy to mention this in the Cabinet meeting, but the White House made sure this chestnut was roasted on the open national fire.

Hundreds of millions. Wow, that's a lot. That's more than have died in every single war combined in the entire world since 1900. https://t.co/JmCT8jqnID

— Ron Filipkowski (@RonFilipkowski) December 2, 2025

I think under the new Trump statistics that’s actually only 20 people.

Sit in our air conditioned offices? Finally I have to say it. How dare you sir. Close to every member of the press corps you despise has made multiple reporting trips to combat zones, been under fire, some reporters wounded, some killed. Some today still with PTS. Mr. Hegseth… https://t.co/rRN4ZkDPBb

— Barbara Starr (@bstarrreports) December 2, 2025

Sit in our air conditioned offices? Finally I have to say it. How dare you sir. Close to every member of the press corps you despise has made multiple reporting trips to combat zones, been under fire, some reporters wounded, some killed. Some today still with PTS. Mr. Hegseth should we indeed finally accept it’s just not possible for you to show any basic respect. I guess it in fact is not possible.

Hegseth should have added: “And thanks to me and the President, no narco-terrorist can stop you from saying ‘Merry Christmas.’ You’re welcome, America.” As long as he’s being insufferably obtuse.

What is Mr. Tesla concerned about today? pic.twitter.com/1WcMMPaFAJ

— Ron Filipkowski (@RonFilipkowski) December 2, 2025

Elmo’s dreaming of a white Xmas, just like the ones he used to know. (I’m sure that data came from Grok.)

Paul: Hegseth said he had no knowledge of this and it did not happen. And then the next day, from the podium at the white house, they're saying it did happen. So either he was lying to us on Sunday or he's incompetent pic.twitter.com/YnVZvKE5Kq

— Acyn (@Acyn) December 3, 2025

Hegseth: I watch that first strike live. At the Department of War, we got a lot of things to do so I not stick around. Couple of hours later, I learned that commander had made -- which he had the complete authority to do, he made the correct decision to sink the boat and… pic.twitter.com/zoS8glt8Fr

— Acyn (@Acyn) December 2, 2025

At the Department of War, we got a lot of things to do so I not stick around. Couple of hours later, I learned that commander had made -- which he had the complete authority to do, he made the correct decision to sink the boat and eliminated the threat. And it was the right call. We have his back.

Reporter: So you did not see the survivors after that first strike?

Hegseth: I did not personally see survivors. The thing was on fire. This is what is called the fog of war. This is what you in the press don’t understand. You sit in your air conditioned offices and you plant fake stories in The Washington Post not based in any truth at all

So the new, long version is, Hegseth not only didn’t give the order but, contrary to the statement he made earlier, he didn’t really even watch it because he was too busy. 

But at least we can say “Merry Christmas,” right?