Land of the free, home of the brave

or something like that:

"We understand now that in today's post-Sept. 11 environment, it was reasonable and appropriate for citizens and law enforcement officials to take any perceived threat posed by our light boards very seriously and to respond as they did," the statement said.

Turner Broadcasting Company, apologizing for creating a panic among the officials charged with maintaining security in Boston. Of course, we must keep this all in perspective:

"Last week's events caused a major disruption in the greater Boston area on many levels — crippling public transportation, causing serious traffic problems, negatively affecting local businesses and perhaps most significantly, costing Boston and surrounding communities thousands of dollars," [Massachusetts Attorney General Martha] Coakley said.

"We are fortunate that no one was injured," Coakley said. "We hope that this painful lesson will not be lived or learned again either by the communities involved or ... Turner Broadcasting and Interference." [sic]*

All because the security experts of Boston can't tell the difference between a lightboard powered by D-cells, and an explosive device. It is fortunate, indeed, that no one was injured.

Wet pants can be so dangerous.

Yes, I know, childish and immature of me. But as I've said before, I used to work for a lawyer who reminded me, time and again: "They don't pay us to be wrong." That cuts both ways. We don't pay security officials to ignore obvious dangers; but neither do we pay them to proclaim the sky is falling just because an acorn fell out of the tree onto their head. This was a grotesque over-reaction by Boston city officials, and all Turner has done is be a good citizen and pay some money to get Boston to shut up. And that money, we are assured, will be put to good use:

MBTA General Manager Daniel Grabauskas and MBTA Police Chief Joseph Carter said the money would be put to good use.

"We will develop a list of meaningful and effective homeland security and customer safety programs that will have an enduring effect on our customers," Carter said.

Turner Broadcasting, meanwhile, is laughing all the way to the bank. $2 million is cheap for this kind of publicity. Aqua Teen Hunger Force will probably do monster box office its opening weekend.

As Meatwad says: "I'm dumb, but I ain't that dumb."

Wonder if it'll be banned in Boston?



" — a more obvious sight when darkness fell."

*I just noticed this. And who says attorneys don't have a sense of humor, huh?