I’m Almost Serious In Asking:

Can we deport this guy to South Sudan?

Just in: Texas' former solicitor general has left the AG's office amid sex misconduct allegations and a lawsuit outlining his apparent, months of detailed disclosures to colleagues about his sexual obsession with watching an asteroid anally rape the agency's No. 2 attorney in front of his kids.

Wait for it:

I am being dead serious. Judd Stone allegedly talked about this asteroid fantasy so often that the agency's No. 2, Brent Webster, discussed it with him and, later fearing for his and his family's safety, consulted with other top officials in the AG's office.

No, still not the worst of it:

CORRECTION: Judd Stone is not accused of outlining his asteroid rape fantasy over the course of months, as I wrote. Rather, he allegedly disclosed his asteroid rape fantasy in "excruciating detail" over a "long period of time" during a meal with federal judges, governor staff and NGO workers.

And a lot of Texas AG staffers:

First Assistant Texas Attorney General Brent Webster wrote in an email detailing the allegations, and that email is among the exhibits of the lawsuit against Stone from Jordan Eskew, a program specialist for Attorney General Ken Paxton.

"The first female employee came to me on October 13, 2023. I asked Ralph Molina to join the conversation with me, so that I had a witness. Through many tears, she told me stories of Judd discussing sexual things with her, specifically regarding a disturbing sexual fantasy Judd had about me being violently anally raped by a cylindrical asteroid in front of my wife and children," the email from Webster reads.

You read that right: 2023. Stone resigned in lieu of termination on October 17, 2023. He admitted the allegations of the sex fantasy were true, and that he had repeated them to Eskew while the two were part of a team working on Paxton’s impeachment trial.  So who is this guy?

Stone is most known as the far-right lawyer who defended the Texas "bounty hunter" abortion law, which allowed Texas residents to sue individuals who aid or abet in performing or inducing an abortion. The suit alleges that anyone involved from an Uber driver to the doctor, could be targeted.

As Slate legal analyst Mark Joseph Stern recalled, "Judd Stone argued that strangers had standing to sue any person who 'aided or abetted' an abortion in Texas based on the 'extreme moral harm' they suffer by knowing the abortion happened."

Does this mean I can sue Judd for his treatment of Eskew? I mean, I feel I’ve suffered “extreme moral harm” just reading about Stone’s revenge fantasy. Why do I say “revenge”?

“Brent Webster has a personal vendetta against Mr. Hilton and Mr. Stone,” said a spokesperson for their law firm, Stone Hilton. “This lawsuit is his creation and a complete fabrication.”

We’ll see how that works out for them.