How To Insult Friends And Piss Off People

SECRETARY RUBIO: Imagine if instead of spending billions of dollars supporting terrorists or weapons, Iran had spent that money helping the people of Iran. They would have a much different country. pic.twitter.com/27WKspQ53h

— Department of State (@StateDept) March 30, 2026

Trump: We can't take care of daycare. We're a big country, we have 50 states, all these people, we're fighting wars. It's not possible for us to take care of daycare, Medicaid, Medicare, all these things pic.twitter.com/8rf8SzHeKT

— Headquarters (@HQNewsNow) April 1, 2026

Trump: When someone's nice to me, I love that person. Even if they're bad people. I couldn't care less. I’ll fight to the end for them
pic.twitter.com/M8TGjvDQ99

— Republicans against Trump (@RpsAgainstTrump) April 1, 2026

To be fair, who didn’t know that?

pic.twitter.com/sIJS2PTMat

— TheRudeGoose (@TheRudeGoose) April 2, 2026

NEW: A group linked to tech billionaire Peter Thiel has waded into the Virginia redistricting battle, contributing $2.5 million to the PAC that sparked outrage last month by sending out controversial mailers targeting Black voters.https://t.co/Jpv7d38ZWD

— Democracy Docket (@DemocracyDocket) April 1, 2026

I’m old enough to remember Elmo pouring money into a local race that he might as well have spent on a wild weekend in Vegas. So I’m sure this will work out well.

President Trump: “Iran wanted to produce as many missiles as possible, and they did, with the longest range possible. And they had some weapons that nobody believed they had. We just learned that out. We took them out. We took them all out so that no one would really dare stop… pic.twitter.com/x0Hxv9XrWt

— OSINTdefender (@sentdefender) April 2, 2026

Can somebody translate that into coherent English? 

President Trump: “Thanks to the progress we've made, I can say tonight that we are on track to complete all of America's military objectives shortly, very shortly. We are going to hit them extremely hard over the next two to three weeks. We're going to bring them back to the… pic.twitter.com/6Guv7PP7OJ

— OSINTdefender (@sentdefender) April 2, 2026

President Trump: “Thanks to the progress we've made, I can say tonight that we are on track to complete all of America's military objectives shortly, very shortly. We are going to hit them extremely hard over the next two to three weeks. We're going to bring them back to the Stone Ages where they belong. In the meantime, discussions are ongoing. Regime change was not our goal. We never said regime change, but regime change has occurred.”

Pretty sure we were going to “hit them pretty hard” for a month, now. And we’ve had a running monthlong discussion about regime change and whether or not it had occurred.

U.S. President Donald J. Trump’s Address to the Nation regarding the Iran War has now ended without any major announcements. pic.twitter.com/ZsHDgztOLz

— OSINTdefender (@sentdefender) April 2, 2026

So I didn’t miss anything. What a surprise.

Oil prices surge following tonight’s address by U.S. President Donald J. Trump regarding the Iran War, with Crude Oil WTI surpassing $103 per barrel while Brent Crude Oil approaches $106. pic.twitter.com/bmt2Y8j4mC

— OSINTdefender (@sentdefender) April 2, 2026

Another non-surprise.

Mockler: If we have won so decisively, why can't we get a single ship through the strait of hormuz? Why won't we even try to escort a ship through the strait of hormuz? pic.twitter.com/neXM84V9Fx

— Acyn (@Acyn) April 2, 2026

The 1st time I have ever heard him tell the truth. https://t.co/8xD7fXWjxD

— Agolf Twitler Slayer (@slayer_agolf) April 2, 2026

Great speech, dude. pic.twitter.com/H77TGcfrXT

— Ron Filipkowski (@RonFilipkowski) April 2, 2026

Trump remains a stable genius.

We literally have to pay more for gas because Trump’s speech sucked. It’s a Shitty Speech Tax. pic.twitter.com/IsfkSTfWnE

— Ron Filipkowski (@RonFilipkowski) April 2, 2026

Trump: So to those countries that can't get fuel… Go to the straight and just take it, protect it, use it for yourselves. The hard part is done, so it should be easy. pic.twitter.com/Nj36TBOrXG

— Acyn (@Acyn) April 2, 2026

How to insult friends and piss off people.

Here's what US oil prices did during Trump's speech, which included the declaration that "we don't need" the Strait of Hormuz to be open pic.twitter.com/X6EScNo3Z0

— Adam Cancryn (@adamcancryn) April 2, 2026

Oh, and fuck up the global economy.