The President Of The United States, Ladies And Gentleman

Trump: Ken Paxton, you might not like the way he dresses, and I say this, it's so insulting to him, but I might as well say it. You might not like the way he looks. You might not love his television interviews. But he was the best attorney general and that speaks a lot louder… pic.twitter.com/TOu5IP31WE

— Acyn (@Acyn) September 2, 2026

Paxton:

Stole a $1000 pen at a courthouse in full view of a security camera.

Was impeached by his own party 

Was referred to the FBI by his own staff

Decided to run for the Senate because nobody wanted him to be AG anymore (basically: get out of the state).

Found a way to afford millions of dollars in real estate on a state employee’s salary.

So, yeah: Trump’s guy.

Trump: Tala-creep-o. Now he says he loves meat. You know what he does? He eats meat and he goes outside and he throws up all over the place. Because in Texas, if you don't eat meat, you're in deep trouble pic.twitter.com/SNOrMLDBbt

— Acyn (@Acyn) September 2, 2026

The President of the United States, ladies and gentlemen.

Trump: We took over Venezuela…we're taking out millions of barrels a week. pic.twitter.com/f9lH6CDrmE

— Acyn (@Acyn) September 2, 2026

Nope.

Trump: We got a 500, 600, 700% reduction… it is 5-600% if you phrase it a certain way… if you want to use a little different phraseology pic.twitter.com/nm7C898qu7

— Acyn (@Acyn) September 2, 2026

Not hardly. (Innumerate idiot.)

Trump says you need ID to go to a grocery store. pic.twitter.com/vzxlvgO19r

— Acyn (@Acyn) September 2, 2026

Not even close. (Trump has never darkened the door of a grocery store.)

Trump suggests Maduro will be charged for emptying the jails into the US. pic.twitter.com/0YeLqJpSTG

— Acyn (@Acyn) September 2, 2026

Never gonna happen. (Unless he just wants to lose another prosecution.)

Trump: A friend of mine is a very obese person. I said, you're an extremely obese person. He's begging me not to mention his name because I'll destroy his reputation. He had some fat drugs. I said: it's not working—you look like shit. pic.twitter.com/Fe3aTrK6i0

— Acyn (@Acyn) September 2, 2026

Talking to himself in the mirror again.

Trump: The media has gained respect for us. They cannot believe what we've done pic.twitter.com/WEg1HHBaZX

— Acyn (@Acyn) September 2, 2026

Every time you think he can’t get more delusional, he reaches a new level.

Trump tells swing district Republicans that they should campaign on all of the accomplishments during the Trump administration and they’ll win big pic.twitter.com/6258YbFMGH

— Acyn (@Acyn) September 2, 2026

See what I mean?

Trump: We’ve had some good presidents. We’ve had no great ones until I came along. I’m only kidding. I’m trying to low key about it. If I don't say I'm only kidding, there'll be headlines: he's a terrible human being. But no, we are though pic.twitter.com/Kg2LTrctNq

— Acyn (@Acyn) September 3, 2026

I have absolutely no idea what he thinks he’s saying. I’m not sure he knows, either.