Monday, March 25, 2019

It was the strawberries!



“There are a lot people out there that have done some very, very evil things, very bad things, I would say treasonous things, against our country,” a clearly angry Trump said. “Hopefully the people that have done such harm to our country — we’ve gone through a period of really bad things happening — those people will certainly be looked at.”

“I have been looking at them for a long time and I’m saying, ‘why haven’t they been looked at?'” Trump continued ominously. “They lied to Congress. Many of them, you know who they are. They’ve done so many evil things.”

“I love this country as much as I can love anything, my family, my country, my God,” said the thrice-married president whose personal attorney paid hush money to his mistresses. “What they did, it was a false narrative, it was a terrible thing.”

"He was no different from any other officer in the ward room, they were all disloyal. I tried to run the ship properly, by the book, but they fought me at every turn. The crew wanted to walk around with their shirt tails hanging out, that's all right, let them. Take the tow line, defective equipment, no more, no less. But they encouraged the crew to go around scoffing at me, and spreading wild rumors about steaming in circles, and then old yellow-strain. I was to blame for Lt. Maryk's incompetence and poor seamanship. Lt. Maryk was the perfect officer, but not Captain Queeg. Ah, but the strawberries, that's, that's where I had them, they laughed at me and made jokes, but I proved beyond the shadow of a doubt, with geometric logic, that a duplicate key to the ward room icebox did exist, and I've had produced that key if they hadn't pulled the Caine out of action. I, I know now they were only trying to protect some fellow officer. [He pauses - looked at all the questioning faces that stared back at him, and realizes that he has been ranting and raving] Naturally, I can only cover these things from memory. If I left anything out, why, just ask me specific questions and I'll be glad to answer them, one by one."

It's getting harder and harder to separate fact from fiction.

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