Aggie Jokes Updated

 I told my sister-in-law, a TAMU alumnus, about the the school banning Plato’s Symposium. She replied: “TAMU: where men are men, and sheep are scared.”

I think that might have something to do with gender ideology, so it might get me banned from the A&M campus….

Anyway, Aggie jokes are the usual kind, although my favorite requires a knowledge of Texas geography and climate locale. (The Aggie’s girlfriend told him: “Kiss me where it’s warm and smelly!” So he drove her to Beaumont.) Most are on the order of: How many Aggies does it take to screw in a light bulb? The updated version of that would be: How many ICE agents does it take to pull one man from a car?

🚨"We've got a Honduran here"

A SWARM of Border Patrol agents violently invaded a Minneapolis gas station—crushing car windows, tackling and brutalizing drivers, and taking several. We've confirmed at least one of them was U.S. CITIZEN Lalo Rios Meza. Via @JonFarinaPhoto pic.twitter.com/q5bOlEU57w

— Status Coup News (@StatusCoup) January 12, 2026

The answer seems to lie in another ad/joke from my childhood. This was an animated ad for Tootsie Pops, a chunk of Tootsie Roll embedded in a thick sucker. A cartoon kid asks a cartoon owl (because owls are wise, ya know): “How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?” The owl counts off three licks, when temptation overcomes him and he bites his way into the center. The narrator then rhetorically asks: “How many licks does it take to get the center of a Tootsie Pop? The world may never know.”

How many ICE agents does it take? The answer seems to be “X times as many as you think possible,” where “X” is a variable which cannot be solved for, but has to be presumed to be greater than 5. Just based on the video.