Tuesday, November 04, 2025

Lowest Information Voters

I, for one, am very annoyed that I can’t vote in the NYC Mayoral election. I’ve heard so much about it I thought Mamdani was at least running for the nation’s dog catcher.

And speaking of low information:
No, that’s not happening. Trump’s DOJ is prosecuting a trial involving an offensive contact by a Subway sandwich.
According to the federal agent, Gregory Lairmore, the assault by a sub resulted in his uniform being permeated with the "smell" of "onions and the mustard." He told a jury it "exploded" as it hit him, though defense lawyers showed pictures of the sandwich on the ground, still in its wrapper.
It was a "smart" sandwich. It reassembled itself. AI sandwiches can do that, you know.
“You don’t see there’s mustard on it,” the defense said at one point. “You can’t tell there’s ketchup on it. ... In fact, that sandwich hasn’t exploded at all.”

The officer claimed the sandwich “looks bent and out of shape.” He went on to say that a little looked like a piece of it was coming out from the bottom of the wrapping.

The exchange prompted giggles and puns from those watching the trial via live posting.

"I've changed my mind. Nothing short of life without parole will suffice," said Sam Stein from The Bulwark.

"Who would win: Level IV plate v. Subway spicy Italian," asked Courthouse News congressional reporter Benjamin S. Weiss.

"Deadly stain," quipped Huffington Post political reporter Igor Bobic. "I wish this particular dystopia wasn’t so funny," said Zach Wilson of the "Sitcom People" podcast.

"Can you still smell the onions, Clarice?" cracked internet comedian Mike Nelson.

"The only suitable punishment is Sandwich Boarding at a Subway operated black site that is overseen by the ghost of Dick Cheney," retired school district administrator Geoff Brown said.

"Imagining Homer Simpson on the jury, drooling and saying 'mmmhhhm projectile sandwich,'" quipped Joe
Yeah, it’s going about that well. Threats of investigations from the White House just don’t mean what they used to. Besides: That’s much more likely to be true. Who’s going to tell her? (Does she mean the Louisiana border with Texas?) Since we’ve introduced the Speaker into this conversation: why does he bother? (Please note the time on that post, and Trump’s post here. Trump posted about 50 minutes later.)
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