Come To The Dallas 2-Day Mini-Convention!

At which absolutely nothing will happen and a lot of politicians will shout and blather, but the room needs to be full so as not to embarrass the President!

Tim Bates, a 65-year-old longtime Collin County GOP precinct chair, wanted in on the Republican Party's first-ever midterm convention in Dallas — just not badly enough to pay for it, The Dallas Morning News reported Monday.

"I was not going to pay $5,000," Bates told the Morning News.

That’s right, you’ve got to pay the rich guy for the privilege of having him shout inanities at you for 2 hours every night.

Even Melania doesn’t want to sit through that.

Did I mention an empty room would embarrass the President?

Tickets costing thousands of dollars turned off plenty of Texas Republicans interested in attending "Trump-a-Palooza," so organizers set up a lottery for free tickets instead, according to the report.

The state party had flagged the free-ticket signup for Trump's rally and Bates "forwarded it to fellow precinct chairs."

No standard Texas delegation exists, and a seat can come half a dozen different ways. The state GOP sold "honorary delegate" packages for $10,000, half the $20,000 first advertised, while others got tickets, invites, registration links, or the free lottery.

Not every Republican in Texas lives in the Metroplex. It just sometimes seems like it. And anybody in Texas who can pay $10,000 for two nights in Dallas (not including hotel, parking, or food), can afford higher property taxes. Just sayin’…

And it’s a lottery! You get a chance to win a ticket nobody wants to pay for! To spend two nights in a convention center in Dallas! Maybe.

The event is already under threat of GOP lawmakers who have balked at attending, choosing instead to be with their families or campaigning with the midterms weeks away.

One Republican lawmaker dismissed the entire project as a "waste of time" and even Melania Trump is opting to skip it.

The free ticket’s no good if the place fills up with paying customers.  So come to Dallas and wait outside on standby! This is the GOP! They don’t need no steenken’ freeloaders!

Well, unless the room looks empty. Then I suspect they’ll be dragging in the homeless; or locking down the cameras so they can’t turn.