“I Am Sorry I Don’t Have A Plane To Give You”

Donald Trump has access to the best intelligence information in the world. You’d never know it.

US President Donald Trump brandished a stack of printed articles at the White House Wednesday that he claimed documented a genocide taking place against white people in South Africa.

Mixed into the deck of papers he unveiled before South African leader Cyril Ramaphosa, however, was a months-old blog post featuring a photo from the Democratic Republic of Congo.

What’s better there? The fact no one in the Administration vetted that picture to determine its provenance? Or the fact that picture is from a blog post?

Well researched information, eh?

"Death of people, death, death, death, horrible death, death," Trump said as he flipped through the headlines, which he said were published in "the last few days."

"These are all people that recently got killed."

Yeah, the date of that photograph (at least a month old), matters as much as the fact it isn’t even an event in the right country.

At the bilateral meeting in the Oval Office on Wednesday, the US president held up a February article about tribalism in Africa from a little-known website called "American Thinker."

Another stellar source.

It featured a blown-up image showing Red Cross workers in protective gear handling body bags.

"Look, here's burial sites all over the place," said Trump. "These are all white farmers that are being buried."

But the image is a screengrab from a February YouTube video of Red Cross workers responding after women were raped and burned alive during a mass jailbreak in the Congolese city of Goma, according to its caption.

Reading comprehension is not his strong suit. Good to know, eh? (But not really a surprise, either.)