Sunday, February 23, 2025

Al Capone’s Vault

Long enough ago it’s almost disappeared from public memory, Geraldo Rivera was Hot Stuff. His name was enough to get attention for any story he reported on. And then he hyped his live special, whereupon he would open the long lost vault of Al Capone.

“Hype” is an understatement. Rivera promised untold treasures, riches, and mysteries solved with the opening of this hidden safe. The live show itself took 90 minutes to finally open the door into the unknown.

And it was empty.

Rivera stayed in front of cameras, more or less, for the following decades, but he never recovered his reputation or his fame. The fiasco destroyed him; professionally, at least.

That won’t happen when Trump goes to Fort Knox. The other difference will be, there won’t be cameras to peer past the vault door.  Or even inside the Fort  complex. As one of the most secure places in the world, Trump’s fans will just have to take his word for it.

The rest of us will just have to continue to wonder what this has to do with the price of eggs.

I’m only wondering how Trump will spin being responsible for the return of the gold to the depository. Or whether he’ll announce the amount of gold there. Will he declare it part of his “sovereign  wealth fund”?  He’s certain to try to convince his followers that, like King Canute made the tide come in, he made the gold come back. Or just reassured us all it was still there; as if we had any doubt.

What does this have to do with the price of eggs? Or the price of gas? Trump could learn from Biden how to control the price of gas. But he’s determined to do the opposite of anything Biden did. The price of eggs is subject to the vagaries of the bird flu pandemic. But after Covid, Trump is determined not to let anyone in government report on any disease ever again. Not while he’s president, anyway.

I suppose it’ll be a break from playing golf, going to Fort Knox. Since it seems he can only do one thing a day. It’s almost like he’s retired. 

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