Thursday, February 12, 2026

Clusterfucking The Clusterfuck

 So CBP shot down a party balloon? 🎈 

"You've been reporting on this all day," said anchor Willie Geist. "Yesterday we woke up. We're discussing on the show yesterday there was some concern about is there about to be a military operation? Are we going to strike drug cartels, the United States military? Very confusing. Contradicting claims by different departments of the government, and the FAA saying we had to do this because we didn't know what the heck was going on. What did you find after sifting through all this?"

"Well, I kind of found what you just found, as I'm having to reconcile contradictory accounts," said Caputo. "The best I can tell is this, is they have the super duper weapon, and they deny it's a laser. It's some sort of direct energy weapon. So when I asked, were drones shot down? They said no, drones were downed, whatever that meant as far as a distinction, and that they had gone out in this exercise, actually looking for drones that make incursions with some regularity. They wouldn't tell me the frequency."

"And here's the rub," said Caputo. "The Customs and Border Patrol had borrowed the super duper secret weapon from the Department of Defense or Department of War, whichever you want to call it. And at a certain point, the FAA is like, hey, what are you guys doing? Not only can this thing shoot down drones or down drones, it can possibly take down airplanes. And allegedly, I was told by one source, the Department of War, the DOD general wasn't very clear on exactly what was happening. And FAA, unable to get any answers, then made the decision to shut it down for ten whole days and didn't coordinate that with anyone."

"Now, why they had to shut it down for ten days, no one can explain why the Department of Defense general, whoever this is, wasn't clear on exactly what they were doing because there was a big airport around and FAA was worried about downed planes," he continued. "No one can explain. What we do understand is Customs and Border Patrol is sticking by their story, which is like, yeah, sure, we borrowed the weapon and we pushed the button, but it was always in control and under the supervision of the Department of War."

"So everyone is sort of doing the Washington blame game, and it does look like there's enough blame to go around," he added. "But essentially the administration here hit the brakes, stepping part of a crisis management where everywhere you turn you step on a rake and you get bashed in the head with it. It just becomes a sort of positive feedback loop of negative consequences. And nothing got better. And the explanations at the end of the day didn't get any clearer."
First, given recent events, you don’t want CBP in control of anything sharper than a rubber ball. Second, shutting down airspace for 10 days because CBP has a space weapon that DOD doesn’t want to talk about is not exactly “stepping on a rake.” Third: who the fuck is in charge of this chicken outfit? Because it’s Bozos all the way down.

FAA didn’t just close the El Paso airport. They shutdown everything in the air, including medevac and police helicopters and traffic helicopters, everything but paper airplanes. For 10 days. With no notice, or coordination, or consultation, with anyone. And DOD told CBP, “Sure, you can play with it.” AND SOMEBODY SHOT DOWN A FUCKING PARTY BALLOON WITH THIS WEAPON NO ONE CAN SPEAK OF, WHICH STARTED THE WHOLE WORLD CRYING! IS THIS A FUCKING JOKE? The entire premise of “This is Spinal Tap” was more credible. When reality makes mockumentaries look like cold reality, you are somewhere far worse than through the looking glass.

And where the fuck IS Sean Duffy?

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