Thursday, November 19, 2020

But He Plays One On TeeVee!

 When I was practicing law (this anecdote will tell you how long ago THAT was), I attended a CLE (Continuing Legal Education) where a speaker at the lunch break, knowing how dazed we were by the morning's events and then the forgettable meal, played a clip from "Matlock," the then popular TV lawyer show starring Andy Griffith.  Matlock was in the courtroom, being challenged to present evidence for something he'd just declared to be true.  "Oh, I've got evidence.  I'VE GOT EVIDENCE!," Matlock declared as he waved a sheaf of papers in the air.

The room exploded in laughter.  Nothing like that ever occurs in a courtroom.  You can't argue your case through your lawyer, not in the middle of the trial when evidence is being taken.  And you can't declare you "have evidence."  It has to be presented according to the rules of evidence and procedure.  Trials are, in fact, Andrew Sorkin notwithstanding, very dull proceedings that even judges (I've seen it!) struggle to stay awake through (especially when the judge expects the jury to pay attention, so he doesn't have to).

Rudy Giuliani is a TV lawyer, not a real one.

OTOH, the other lawyers are not any better:

It would change the results if we took out California, too. Or Arizona, Georgia, Wisconsin, Michigan. There is no legal vehicle for doing that, though (aside from the blatant racism). I had no idea Giuliani was this insane. BWAHAHAHAHAHA-HAHAHAHAHAH-HAHAHAHAHA!! Whew! Wait a minute. Lemme catch my breath. And he hired these clowns to do that? By the way, this is important: Because: He'd better hurry. And get his stories straight. Not that he can do anything in Georgia anyway. Meanwhile, Rudy's performance draws attention to the important things: When the most important thing is how thoroughly incompetent and embarassing these people are: Sombeody doesn't understand the legal process, and it appears to be the lawyers at the microphone. Truth still hurts, huh, Rudy?  Before we go, let's get a few more details of this trainwreck on the record: Repeating myself from earlier: affidavits ain't magic beans: And this is why they are losing in court after court: And when they aren't dismissing their own cases, their cases are being dismissed. If you can't get to a full trial, the fault is in your case(s), not in the legal system. Of course he was. On the other hand, Giuliani was right; we are headed to a very bad place.
It does, actually.


  1. I read somewhere that Sidney Powell is convinced that Amazon is involved in a conspiracy against her because her self-published book didn't become a super viral best seller. I think De G. and his wife are merely evil and not insane, the rest of them are both.

  2. Does Rudy color his hair with mascara? Weird as hell.

  3. For $20,000 a day, he can't afford better hair dye?

    And yes: these people are evil AND nuts. There's no other explanation.