Saturday, November 18, 2023

Dear Santa…

 


I keep seeing this ad and I keep wondering: “Why?”

Aside from the not-subtle misogyny of stepping on a woman’s face with every stride, I know what my own boot soles look like after just a few hours wear.

My boots, when new, carry the name of the manufacturer on the soles. And I mean “fresh out of the box” new. I don’t walk through pasture or feedlots in my boots, or through cactus and over dry ground. I’m harder on them than that. I wear them strictly in urban settings. Concrete. Asphalt. That name on the sole? Usually obliterated within an hour.

I’m guessing these boots are much more expensive than mine. And clearly some of the allure is a Marilyn Monroe looking face blowing bubble gum on the bottom of your manly footwear. But why? You can’t see it. Others can only see it if you put your boots in their face. And unless you pay four people to carry you around, the picture is ruined with, offhand, twenty minutes wear. If it isn’t, you’re wearing ice skates. Trust me, you want leather soles to be scuffed.

Unless those aren’t leather soles. In which case, boy, did they see you coming.

Well, either way, if you bought these, it’s pretty clear they did.

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