Old Times There Are Best Forgotten

Padishah Emperor of the Crazy People.
But not stupid.https://t.co/q1vbxGv4S5

— Charles P. Pierce (@CharlesPPierce) May 20, 2021

I grew up in the land now represented by Louie Gohmert. That fact alone makes me glad I don't live there anymore. I used to miss it. I don't at all, now.

During a speech on the House floor on Thursday, Texas Rep. Louie Gohmert said his SAT score would "shock people who think I'm the dumbest member of congress."

"When I took it, did very well, got me into the Honors program at A&M," Gohmert said.

Gohmert was claiming — without evidence — that Americans scored higher on college entrance tests before the Department of Education was created.

I still don't think he can spell "SAT."  I need further evidence.  Besides, it was the Honors program at Texas A&M.  Real Texans know what I'm talking about.

Louie Gohmert's whole performance is worth a look over at CSPAN. He says he's sure the FBI is hiding video that proves the insurrections isn't what we think it was.

'QUIT TRYING TO HIDE THE 14,000 HOURS OF VIDEO TAPE. WHO ARE YOU TRYING TO HIDE?" https://t.co/bRKoJVtonv

— Charles P. Pierce (@CharlesPPierce) May 20, 2021

More Louie:
...A BIT UNUSUAL BECAUSE IN THE UNITED STATES, YOU KNOW, ONE OF THE POINTS OF THE REVOLUTION WAS TO HAVE AN OPEN GOVERNMENT WHERE YOU DIDN'T HAVE SECRET PROSECUTIONS AND SECRET EVIDENCE LIKE THE SOVIET UNION WOULD USE, LIKE KAFKA TALKED ABOUT IN HIS BOOK "THE TRIAL."

— Charles P. Pierce (@CharlesPPierce) May 21, 2021

I want a book report on Kafka, from Goehmert. A vague reference is not proof of reading comprehension.

And...
IT'S GETTING DANGEROUS. NOT JUST FOR THIS COUNTRY EVEN, BUT FOR ALL OF CIVILIZATION. THERE ARE PEOPLE THAT WANT ANARCHY, INCLUDING ANTIFA. THERE ARE PEOPLE WITHIN ANTIFA, THAT'S WHAT THEY WANT. AND THEN THERE ARE PEOPLE THAT ARE MARXIST, SOCIALIST AND B.L.M...

— Charles P. Pierce (@CharlesPPierce) May 21, 2021

He learned all about Marxism and socialism at A&M, I'm sure. And he still can't use either word in a sentence.

Louie warns against murderous 79-year olds.

YOU THINK BERNIE SANDERS IS KIDDING ABOUT HIS DISGUST AT BILLIONAIRES? NO, THEY'LL TAKE YOUR MONEY, THEY'LL USE IT TO WIN AND THEN AFTER THEY WIN, THEY'LL TAKE YOUR MONEY AND YOU EITHER GO TO A GULAG OR YOU'RE PUT TO DEATH.

— Charles P. Pierce (@CharlesPPierce) May 21, 2021

There really aren't that many of them. Billionaires, I mean.  We lost more people to covid. We wouldn't miss a bunch of billionaires whose money was redistributed.

Louie, on mass shootings:

IF YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE UNDERGROUND PEOPLE IN UNIVERSITIES TEACHING THAT THERE IS NO RIGHT, THERE IS NO WRONG, IT'S ALL RELATIVE...,YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE WHAT OUR FOUNDERS WOULD HAVE CALLED AN IMMORAL AND IRRELIGIOUS PEOPLE.

Underground people.

— Charles P. Pierce (@CharlesPPierce) May 21, 2021

The Underground People are the people you have to watch out for in college. They all come from London and talk loudly because the Tube has ruined their hearing. They're very polite, though.

I have no idea.

I THINK SOMEBODY WAS EXPLAINING SOMETHING ON TELEVISION, IT'S A BIT LIKE A CUP, THOSE CELLS. THEY FILL UP WITH SMELLS. ONCE IT FILLS UP, YOU CAN'T DETECT THERE'S MORE WATER OUT THERE BECAUSE IT'S THE SAME WAY.

— Charles P. Pierce (@CharlesPPierce) May 21, 2021

Yeah, he's used up his vocabulary. Or, as Monty Python once had it, his brain is the size of a pea and sometimes it comes dislodged. Somebody knock his head about, see if you can get it back into place.

Nothing here to prove he isn't the dumbest person in Congress.  Or that he can spell "SAT," for that matter.