Reason #472 As To Why I Gave Up The Pratice Of Law

Why couldn't we have found a COVID excuse to get rid of ties? Ties are bullshit.

— NoLongerPurelyCivilHat (@Popehat) May 21, 2021

I still have a variety of ties, from a very fine Brooks Brother's pindot (no idea how I acquired it) to a knit tie. I have my novelty ties, like Santa Claus lounging before a fireplace, obviously post-Xmas Eve. I have a tie with Munch's "Scream" on it. In the early rounds of seminary and licensed ministry practice (where I was only authorized to administer sacraments at one particular site; the Holy Spirit left me when I crossed some nebulous boundary just past the church doors, and re-entered upon my return), I called it my "preaching" tie. Nobody could see it during services; I wore a robe.

I was proud of my many ties and my many suits, back when I worked for a big law firm as a legal assistant but not a lawyer.  I could afford fewer suits or ties after law school, and now they're all older than my nearly 30 year old daughter.  Somewhere after seminary I wore a "collar" with a plastic insert (yeah, that's how those work now) because it meant I didn't have to war a tie (the knot was all you could see with my robe on, anyway).  I've never looked back.

Ties are phallic symbols from way back.

— Larry P Saebens (@LSaebens51) May 21, 2021

So, the whole "skinny ties/fat ties" fads? Don't even get me started on the symbolism of knit ties.  Among other things, what were we thinking?

And why does anybody still have to wear them today?  Not that I want to see Mitch McConnell in a polo shirt on the floor of the Senate, come to think of it....