5-4

Supreme Court Votes 5-4 To Throw Beer Bottle At Sluthttps://t.co/VnASA8Fcio pic.twitter.com/w7LuaHL6BP

— The Onion (@TheOnion) June 24, 2022

Supreme Court Rules 5-4 To Reopen Japanese Internment Camps https://t.co/MKeSGZmBOj pic.twitter.com/fK3ouFLAHB

— The Onion (@TheOnion) June 24, 2022

Supreme Court Votes 5-4 To Lock Nation’s Toddlers In Hot Cars https://t.co/9tIgQ5YOMW pic.twitter.com/ZrSNn67ayk

— The Onion (@TheOnion) June 24, 2022

Supreme Court Votes 5-4 To Drive Slowly Alongside Woman Walking Home Alone At Night https://t.co/5IliZxlR2T pic.twitter.com/UcC6oe9xQa

— The Onion (@TheOnion) June 24, 2022

Supreme Court Rules 5-4 To Add Jesus Into All Paintings https://t.co/r1VOhLI2Sl pic.twitter.com/kffMoRf7cf

— The Onion (@TheOnion) June 24, 2022

Supreme Court Votes 5-4 To Make It Illegal For Women To Deceive Men With Makeup https://t.co/9t5r0SpKvr pic.twitter.com/9SCu0PPdwI

— The Onion (@TheOnion) June 24, 2022

Supreme Court Rules 5-4 To Baptize Constitution https://t.co/4z21PgIxiV pic.twitter.com/RwISTsx28T

— The Onion (@TheOnion) June 24, 2022

Supreme Court Votes 5-4 To Reclassify Women As Service Animals https://t.co/MM3jbtA9ea pic.twitter.com/zpvIr4X2xs

— The Onion (@TheOnion) June 24, 2022

Supreme Court Rules 5-4 To Ride Stephen Breyer Around Like A Horse https://t.co/Hir2ayeJFR pic.twitter.com/LuWZJVjf7k

— The Onion (@TheOnion) June 24, 2022

Supreme Court Votes 5-4 To Take Child Bride https://t.co/WYttBAsw7L pic.twitter.com/L0qOu9eB8S

— The Onion (@TheOnion) June 24, 2022

They even kept the “domestic supply of infants” line: pic.twitter.com/brerNBvPZ9

— Steve Vladeck (@steve_vladeck) June 24, 2022

Which kinda kills the satire. But so does this:

Read @maryrziegler:https://t.co/qAVsUFA8mD

— Steve Vladeck (@steve_vladeck) June 24, 2022

In any previous #SCOTUS Term, any one of Tuesday's funding-religious-schools ruling in Carson; Thursday's Second Amendment ruling in Bruen; or today's ruling in Dobbs would have been a landmark, Term-defining decision.

This Term, we got all three over the last four *days.*

— Steve Vladeck (@steve_vladeck) June 24, 2022

Meanwhile, Promises Made:

With the end of Roe, 83 elected prosecutors have pledged today to use their well-settled discretion and not criminalize those who seek or provide abortions. Read the statement and find out if your DA is on the list: https://t.co/vFdHfWy9eT#WhereIsMyDA #RoevWade pic.twitter.com/ToK05roEnS

— Fair and Just Prosecution (@fjp_org) June 24, 2022

83. In 50 states. There are 254 counties in Texas alone, the second most populous state in the country. Each of those counties has a DA who would be the official to  bring criminal charges under the new abortion law. 5, at least, are part of that 83. But they could all be replaced with DA’s who would prosecute cases in which limitations haven’t run.

Even if you live in one of those 5 counties, do ya feel lucky? Does your doctor?

What a weird quote. Shouldn’t he be just as concerned about the safety of children who are already born? https://t.co/n2MK8CQQqf

— Alison Frankel (@AlisonFrankel) June 24, 2022

Weird way to talk about the 2nd Amendment.